Let's get right to it: The Bachelorette. So we all knew what was coming, but that doesn't make it any less enjoyable to see Justin get his ass handed to him when he's busted for having a girlfriend. Chris Harrison comes to Ali's room and delivers the partial news. We wait as he rings informant Jessie, of Jake's season, to deliver the full information. Thanks, ABC, for having a camera in Toronto. We were having trouble remembering which one Jessie was.
So Jessie reveals that Justin has a girlfriend and that she is sitting next to her right now! Girlfriend Jessica gets on the phone and goes on to say that Justin hatched a plan to go on the show to become famous and planned to marry her upon his return. She also says that she agreed to and assisted him with the plan. But after he left, she found out he had another girlfriend as well. Ali is overcome and feels so sorry for Jessica. Okay, wait a minute. Let's back up. Justin already has a girlfriend, maybe two, and came on the show anyway. Girlfriend number one helped him perpetrate this fraud. So why are we feeling sorry for her? KnitWit Mary Beth made this call and I stand by it.
On to Justin. Set aside that he's a wrestler. He is still a major cheeseball! I have difficulty believing women are fighting over him. I'll admit that while he was on the show, I was taking pleasure in seeing Justin 20-30 paces behind the group hobbling along on his crutches. Especially on the sand at the beach. No sympathy points here. That was hilarious.
But Ali somehow had a connection with him and is astonished that he's been acting the whole time. I do love it that she doesn't mince words when ripping him up and down for outright lying. His run away scene was excellent and I must commend the camera men for following him as he was making his escape. He was climbing through shrubberies and some sort of water feature, very slowly getting away. It's not like she couldn't have caught up. Then he decides to come back and try to explain, but Ali's not buying it for a second. Good call.
I think there are many lessons learned here. 1. Never help your boyfriend go on a reality show to try to marry someone else. 2. When everyone in the household warns you about another contender, listen to them (ahem Vienna). 3. Stay away from cheeseball entertainment wrestlers with chains and triangular soul patches.
Let's get to the dates. Ty gets the first one-on-one date. The consensus at the KnitWits is that he seems nice, but probably not going to be the ultimate winner. She takes him to the Turkish baths where she thinks it's so hot and steamy that they should get close pretty quickly - in other words, she's already decided to make out with him. And she does. Afterward, they go have a quaint dinner together where she asks him about his divorce. The long and the short of it is that he served the papers, and the main reason was that he is very traditional and did not want his wife to work. He might not have used those exact words, but that was the gist. Ali listened intently with her eyes getting wider like they do when she thinks someone's crazy. And yet saying that traditional is the last word to describe her, she offers him the rose. Then they danced in the street and kissed. And he said the dance was "rememorable," which is not a word so he is fired (just by me).
The group date was interesting. Chris L., Kirk, Roberto, and Craig all go to a fifteenth century fortress and wrestle professional olive oil wrestlers and then each other. Against the professional wrestlers it was brutal. They all pretty much went down. Against each other they had more of a chance, but Craig prevailed as he was determined to win the one-on-one time with Ali. Everyone was astounded as he is not an athlete and the rest are. KnitWit Meredith is saddened by less screen time for Roberto (she hearts him), but is glad he won't be making out with Ali. Craig gets his precious one-on-one time with Ali, his first, and also a trophy in the shape of a pair of pants. I can't explain. They take a boat to a tower on an island where they enjoy dinner, champagne and fireworks. No makeout session which probably means no rose.
Final one-on-one date goes to Frank. KnitWits love Frank but agree that he should always keep his glasses on and that he is overemotional. And that he dresses better than her even though she has people choosing her clothes. She does have on some serious boots for shopping in the Turkish Bazaar. Frank is pretty funny. He tries on a Carmac the Magnificent turban and Ali tries on a belly dancer costume. Then they buy a rug and carry it around for the rest of the date. They go to a cistern and wade out to a palette to eat their dinner. Frank is still carrying the rug. They have a heart-to-heart talk about their relationship. It makes Frank nervous, it makes Ali scared, but he is ready to follow his heart and she tells him he should. She offers him the rose and then they make out. He's falling for her.
Ali decides to skip the cocktail party as she already knows what she's going to do. And, as predicted by the KnitWits, Craig is out. We all think he seems nice and that women will pounce on him when he returns home.
ABC should have given a spoiler alert before the preview of the coming weeks. They basically showed who was with Ali in Portugal, as you'd expect, but then her meeting Frank and Roberto's families! And if that weren't enough, they go on to show Ty in Tahiti (final three) and Frank going to Tahiti and telling Ali something that makes both of them cry - looks like he's bailing out on her. What?!?! That's more than a teaser.
I'll post about knitting separately as my 2-month old daughter is waking up and I have to go see about her!!
I love your commentary!!! It was a very entertaining episode for sure!
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